Anger

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Do you know someone with serious anger issues? The anger itself isn’t the real problem; it's merely the indicator that a deeper problem exists. People who get angry over petty things have a deeper issue that is unresolved.

That unsettled issue will come bubbling out; it will manifest itself. For some people it takes the form of alcoholism or workaholism. For others it’s anger. People can use anger to self-medicate. It makes them feel better when they explode with rage. They actually get addicted to it.

The solution is not to manage the anger, but rather to find the underlying cause. When a man screams at strangers whose driving he doesn’t like, or at a child that spills a drink, chances are he’s got unspoken resentment towards his wife or anger towards his parents. He’s projecting all of those unaddressed feelings and bottled up emotions as anger towards innocent bystanders.

If you catch yourself completely losing your mind with rage over petty issues you need to take a serious look at the resentment, jealousy, or pain that you’re harboring. Confront the root cause and the anger will start to melt.

Wingman

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Men need friendship. We need close, real friends in our life. It’s not just chicks that need friends to talk to – it’s all humans.

When men try to make it through life without close male buddies, they fall apart inside. They keep up the appearances on the outside, and they keep going through the motions, but they’re sad clowns who are dying inside from loneliness while their wife and kids think everything is fine.

Loneliness is an epidemic in our world, and men over 50 are killing themselves in record numbers. What we need is a buddy we can talk to about our problems, struggles, and failures. Not just golfing buddies that don’t know what’s actually going on in our life. If you’re pretending that you’ve got it all together around a buddy, then he’s just an acquaintance.

And female friends don’t count either. Sure they make great listeners that tell you everything will be ok, but they can’t relate to what you’re feeling, and they can’t call you out on your crap.

What you need – what everyman needs – is a wingman. A buddy who knows everything awful there is to know about you and likes you anyway.

  My wingman for the last 25 years, Drew Richards  

My wingman for the last 25 years, Drew Richards 

Versions of You

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Have you ever considered how many versions of yourself there are? The work you. The family you. The business trip you. The you that only pretends to care. The secret you…

One thing is for sure – you cannot give 100% to all of those versions. And the more versions there are, the less of your best each one will get.

But just as you created them you can also destroy them. Fire the version of you that acts differently at work. Terminate the you that’s texting with that other woman. Kill the you with that "other" email account. Those versions will destroy the most important version of you – the one you want talked about at your funeral.

Cut yourself loose from those false versions that entangle you. They appear harmless and exciting at first, but they’re a deadly snare that will ultimately own you; those other versions of you will eventually become you.

Imagine the impact you’d make in life if there was only one version of you. A you that’s the exact same at work, church, and home. A you that’s running on all cylinders – your 100% best. Go “all in” on the only version of you that matters.