MANHOOD

How To Talk To Your Kid About Sex

Few things terrify men more than having to give “the talk” to their son or daughter. But when men are too scared to carry out their duties and take the easy way out they give away one of their best opportunities to speak truth into the life of their kids before culture swoops in to make a mess.

It’s an honor and privilege to be the person who explains one of childhood’s biggest questions.

First, thank them for asking you. Let them know that you’re glad that they brought this question to you.

Second, tell them you’d like to make this an ongoing conversation over the next few years. Instead of a one-time “talk” let them know that this can be the first of many conversations on this topic.

Third, don’t make them feel silly, guilty, or foolish - no matter what they say.

After that, just answer their questions 100% honestly. Explain the basics, and tell them why diseases and pregnancy make it so important to wait until marriage. Don’t try to sound cool. You’re the dad – it’s cool to be old fashioned!

Get In The Game

I know men whose wife is: raising the kids, buying the clothes, choosing the vacations, managing the finances, planning the meals, monitoring their husband’s cholesterol, and she’s working out every day!

This begs the question: What on earth is he doing? He’s working a lot and making pretty good money, but is that really the extent of what he perceives his role to be? If so, then he’s a benefactor - not a husband; a donor - not a dad.

Being a man means a lot more than providing a paycheck. We need to get off the couch and get involved with our family. Society has lied to us; watching other men play sports isn’t manly. It’s passive, and real men reject passivity.

We need to take our daughters shopping, take our sons to a man’s barbershop, and buy a meal we love and cook it for the entire family. We should know the names of our kid’s teachers, friends, and pediatrician.

Sadly, there are plenty of married women who are doing the work of a single mom because their husband is zoned out on the couch. As American men, we can do better than this!

Dad-Guilt

Men today live under a heavy compulsion to attend every single one of their kid’s sporting events. There’s huge dad-guilt from missing your kid’s game, and we like the idea that someday they’ll say, “My dad never missed a single game.”

But let’s be honest, there’s is a time and place when it’s okay to miss one game. I’m all for attending 98% of their stuff, but if there’s a rare opportunity to attend an event that will make you a better husband and father – take it. And don’t feel guilty about it. 

Take the long-term view and sacrifice seeing one of their 250 t-ball games now to invest in yourself with that event that will truly make you a better man in the long run.

Some men hide behind their kid’s activities so that they don’t have to take care of themselves; it’s the perfect excuse.

Sometimes our best move is to leave work early to be at their game. But sometimes our best move is to attend the parenting seminar or men’s conference that will benefit everyone. 

You will not scar your kid for life. Don’t sacrifice everything on the altar of perfect attendance.