RELATIONSHIPS

20 Questions

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How hard will your kids have to work to be as successful as you? How hard will it be to be as good of a husband as you? As strong? As manly? As kind?

Where are you setting the bar for the kind of man your daughter will marry? Will she be used to the man in her life not showing her respect?

Is your daughter going to naturally assume that her husband will bring her flowers and take her on dates based on what she grew up seeing? Is she being raised to think she’s worth being pursued?

Will your son think it’s perfectly normal to leer at women other than his wife? Is he learning by your example to over eat? Over drink? Blame and resent others?

Is he receiving the message that he has what it takes to be a great man? Or is he hearing that he’s worthless? That he’s dumb?

Will your kids think it’s bizarre to read biographies of great leaders? To exercise? Will they think it’s strange to talk about their failures, admit mistakes, and to get help?

How high are you setting the bar as a husband, a father, and a man?

Confront the Mess

I know some hoarders. They always need another garage or shed for things they don’t use because they filled up their basement years ago.

I’ve noticed over the years how their amount of stuff has grown at the same rate as the dysfunction in their family. It’s like their possessions and relationship problems both grow from the same root. Panic attacks have tried to get their attention, but still they sweep it all under the rug and pretend that everything is fine.

People who won’t deal with their mountains of possessions certainly aren’t going to confront their messy relationship issues either.

When we ignore the messes in our life they'll come bubbling out in other forms like anxiety or work addiction. We’ll keep ourselves busy so we won’t have to confront the lumps under our rug, but our bodies aren’t designed to contain that kind of internal stress. It will eat away at us and demand our attention.

When we clean out the junk in our attics and initiate those difficult conversations we’ve been avoiding we’ll rediscover what it’s like to be cheerful and lighthearted. When we roll back the rug we take back our life.

Who's Dating Your Wife?

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Guys today seem to have forgotten how to date. We’ve been allowed to get slack and it’s the fault of both women and men for letting it happen. Women have lowered their standards and let us get by with laziness. And we’ve acceded.

Dating is not the same thing as hanging out together. Watching Netflix together with pizza and wine is fun, but it ain’t a date. And your woman needs a date!

She needs it to be official. Which means you have to actually ask her on the date and you have to put a little bit of thought into it. Find a new restaurant, tuck in your shirt, wash your truck. These things let her know that she matters.

She wants you to pursue her. She wants to feel important.

You probably can remember a time when you used to do this, but maybe careers or kids slowly killed the dating side of you. It’s time to take your life back! Her needs haven’t changed; she’s just learned to live with your mediocrity.

Go buy some flowers and make dinner reservations, and start manning up when it comes to dating your wife. Live like you’re still in pursuit!