In The Way of Men, Jack Donovan, differentiates between being a good man and being good at being a man.
If you ask people what it means to be a man you will hear answers like: “A real man is kind and loving.” “A real man spends time with his kids.” “A real man keeps his word.”
But aren’t those statements equally true of “good women”? Aren’t they kind, loving, family oriented, and trustworthy?
Statements like, “A real man would never hit a woman,” isn’t describing a real man, it’s describing a good man. It’s certainly possible to be honest and kind and be a total sissy. And it’s equally possible to be strong and manly and be evil. As Donovan points out, we wouldn’t label assassins, gangsters, fighters, or soldiers as unmanly simply because they act immorally.
We should strive to be good men, but we must also be good at being men. It’s not enough just to be kind and honest – so are women! We must also be good at being men. Protecting. Providing. Romancing.
Set the examples of strength and honor. You have to actually be a man, before you can be a good man.