Fun Takes Work

Ever notice that it takes work to do stuff that’s really fun?  I mean the kind of fun you’re still talking about 20 years later -- the paintball trip, the backpacking adventure, the beach vacation. These things take work to pull off, but they make the best memories. They make life awesome.

If you want to build life experiences for your family then you’ve got to do the work to make it happen. You can’t order them anything from Amazon that will even remotely compare to teaching them how to catch a fish and cook it over the fire you let them build themselves.

As we get older inertia seems to affect us more. It can be more difficult to load the car and drive to Wally World with each passing decade, but that doesn’t mean it’s time to start focusing on playing checkers just yet.

As men, we need to lead our families. Your wife might be a great vacation planner, but that doesn’t mean you get to sit and watch. (Maybe she’s only great at it because you’re not stepping up). It’s never too late to develop a fun side. You just have to work at it.

Addiction

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Addictions are self-medications. Some people choose to medicate with alcohol. Others turn to gaming, shopping, eating, work, or porn. But ultimately they’re all the same, because they’re all just methods of self-medicating.

The addiction is the result of an underlying problem that has not been resolved. Oftentimes that problem is resentment, anger, or a childhood trauma. And instead of dealing with that issue, we turn to an escape from reality. Something that feels good momentarily and numbs the turmoil inside.

But eventually it numbs the good feelings too. It robs us of real joy. As the saying goes, it takes you farther than you want to go, keeps you longer than you want to stay, and cost you more than you want to pay.

The key is to bring it out into the open. All of it. Secrets and lies are fertilizer for addictions. Spilling the whole can of beans to a professional will work wonders. It’s amazing what a little sunlight can do to years of mildew and cobwebs.

Your sheer willpower will never be enough. You’re going to have to face that resentment or trauma head on. Only then will you be able to leave your meds behind.

Pro vs. Amateur

Do you know the difference between a pro and an amateur? I bet you’re thinking it has to do with getting paid. But the money factor misses the bigger picture.

The real difference is how they view the task at hand. A pro views the job differently, and it’s that different view that leads to success. The view is this: Bring it every single day. Show up rain or shine, sick or healthy, and crush it. Period. The amateur brings it when he feels good and the weather is nice. He might be crazy good, but you can’t count on him when everything goes south.

When the chips are down the amateur moves on to something else they enjoy, but the pro will deliver, because that’s just what they do.

We all have the opportunity to be professionals when it comes to our families. We need to stop thinking like amateurs who bring home flowers and take the kids fishing once every three years when we “feel it.” We need to bring it every single day. We need to crush it. We need to go pro!