Know Your Enemy

“Know your enemy,” is an ancient military maxim, but have you ever thought about it in a personal sense? Knowing your enemy is just as important today as it was when Sun Tzu said it in the 6th century BC.

If you’re the average American male with a job and a family you might not face combat, but you still have enemies. Don’t get lulled into complacency thinking that you’re not at war. You are. And it’s more important than ever for you to know and understand your enemy.

Here are just a few of the enemies you should expect and prepare to face:

  1. The attractive coworker

  2. The old flame who texted you

  3. Pornography

  4. The alcohol your hiding from your wife

  5. Complacency in your marriage

  6. Holding on to anger and resentment

Each of these enemies are unbelievably powerful. They each have the power to destroy your life! They are deceptive and highly skilled. They don't want you to even know that you’re in a battle. They want you to relax and drop your guard.

If you want to be a man with a great marriage and a successful life, you must know your enemies!

Don't Get Too Comfy


When it comes to comfort, we’re the cushiest humans in history. Never mind our entertaining tech toys, how about air conditioned houses – no splitting wood all summer. Or hot water heaters – no boiling water over the fire for a warm bath. Electric lights, washing machines, refrigerators, microwaves, and indoor toilets! We achieve in seconds what the Pilgrims labored for hours to accomplish. 

Now that we can just sit at desks all day and have food delivered to us by tapping on our phones we must be the most joyous people in all of human history, right? Not even close.

We’re depressed, lonely, addicted, and complaining. It turns out that the rigorous, hand-callousing toil of our great-grandfathers actually made them happy. And it brought them together as a community - as a tribe. The La-Z-Boy life is incapable of producing the chemicals our brains need to feel true joy.

Don’t you love that feeling of exhausted accomplishment after a day spent working outside? It’s surprising how good we feel. When we pursue comfort, happiness will elude us. When we do good, hard work outside with our hands and our backs, happiness has a way of showing up unannounced.

Bailing Out


The jets that I've navigated in the Air Force didn’t have parachutes. This led to a mindset of fixing any problem. If we had an emergency, we got busy trouble shooting. When bailing out isn’t an option, you do everything you can to fix a problem.

Some men approach marriage with an “ejection seat mentality.” If the marriage goes south they give fixing it a cursory try, but if it’s too much trouble then they’re bailing out. They think they can eject and walk away unharmed.  

Truthfully, bailing out of an airplane is a traumatic event. Vertebrae get crushed, teeth shattered, and the air flow alone can collapse lungs. Ejection seats save lives, but oftentimes just barely. Those who bailout might never be the same. It’s a last resort when not doing so would mean certain death.  

Bailing out on your marriage is no different. It should only be considered when staying in the marriage might kill you. Bailing out will traumatize you (and your kids) and leave you with permanent scars. It’s not a quick-fix to be taken lightly.

Stick with your marriage like you’re flying without a ‘chute. Develop a mindset of fixing any problem, big or small. Don’t bail out.