Self-Care

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Test Question: Is it selfish to take a “guy’s weekend” and leave your wife at home to do everything while you go have fun for a few days? Sounds like a trick question, right?

Not only is it not selfish, it’s actually necessary. In the world of therapy, it’s called “self-care,” and it’s an important aspect of mental health for all of us. Everyone needs time to unwind.

We need small pieces of self-care daily. Like going for a walk or five minutes of meditation. We also need larger doses of self-care less frequently. Things like a cross-country road trip or a camping adventure with old friends. All of these items, large and small, are necessary for our mental health.

If we don’t give ourselves a healthy outlet for stress through proper self-care, then we’re vulnerable to an unhealthy outlet like anxiety, addiction, depression, or anger.

Find whatever recharges you whether it’s surfing, painting, or fishing, and put it on the calendar.

Being a martyr who doesn’t ask for a break won’t make you a better husband or father. Just make sure you watch the kids so that your wife can have the same type of getaway with her friends.

Breaking Great

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What's holding you back from greatness? Is there a false story you tell yourself, like “I’m not good at that”? Is there something insidious in your life that’s wasting your time and energy? Maybe you’re keeping those false stories or unhealthy behaviors around as a safety net. They keep you safe and comfortable in exchange for a life of mediocrity.  

If you abandoned them and went “all in” to achieve greatness then you’d have no excuse if you failed. It’s that fear of failing without a good excuse that keeps most people tied to their false stories and unhealthy habits.  

Imagine if you ditched all of the junk in your life and went “all in” to pursue greatness?You’d stop allowing shame to control you, stop blaming others, end that unhealthy relationship, reach out for real help in that one area you don’t like to talk about, and actually start doing all that stuff that you know deep down inside you should be doing.

Three years ago I went “all in.” My marriage drastically improved, and I discovered a calling towards a new career. Find out what’s waiting for you when you decide to break great.

Sheepdogs IV: Be Prepared

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One characteristic of sheep is that they’re unprepared for storms or disasters. Sheep flock to the store and fight over the last loaf of bread. The sheepdog already has nonperishable food, bottled water, and cash tucked away so that he can safely observe the riots on TV instead of in person.

We live in a period of abundance. But this luxury could screech to a halt at any time. It would be wise to store up during these years of plenty. You probably have money set back for emergencies, so why not food and water?

I’m not suggesting hording supplies like a crazy person. But you should be able to comfortably weather a storm without a mad dash into the fray of a panicked grocery store. Being a man means being prepared.

Being well stocked on emergency supplies doesn't make you a "prepper" any more than having a toolbox in your house makes you a mechanic.

I’ve actually heard men say that they’ve got a friend with enough food or guns for both of them. That’s how sheep think. Your family is counting on you. Hopefully, you’re not counting on a guy down the street. Don’t outsource protecting your family.

Strong dads make strong families, and strong families make a strong nation.